April 22, 2007

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    I'm okay.  It's been a bit rough at times and I felt like crawling into a hole.  I manage to keep my spirits up most of the time.  But...I only have 4 radiation treatments left!  It's been a long 7 weeks. 

    The night after I started my first radiation treatment, I started having what I call "meltdowns".  I would just cry and couldn't stop for hours.  See, right after the surgery, I was so elated that the cancer hadn't spread that I didn't really grieve.  I felt like I didn't have a right to since I had been so "lucky".  But then it hit me: It's not lucky to have cancer.  I felt like I had to have a good attitude at all times because that would insure my survival.  But then after corresponding with some other cancer survivors, I realized that a lot of really good people with really great attitudes lost the battle.  I think that good attitude is more for the people around us than for us...when we really don't feel like having a good attitude.  A REAL attitude, and admitting how I REALLY feel is much more important.

    My overall opinion is that each person must take their own individual approach to dealing with Cancer.  For me, Sunshine and Roses was not my way.  I tend to be more irreverent and when I get mad, I say, "FUCK CANCER!"  I do intend to be cancer free and live a long life.  But I have to be honest to myself about my feelings.

    I still laugh a lot...my Rads therapists are used to me saying the craziest things to make them laugh.  I gave one of the therapists some gourd seeds to grow and they all know me as "The Gourd Lady" now.   I have slipped into being my same-ole raunchy self and we all get along.

    My site is still going with a temporary lull in classes.  But I have lots of new things lined up for the next months.   I changed the name to reflect the different mediums:  That Creative Place.  We have students from as far as Italy, Australia, Netherlands, and Canada.  So I'm happy about that part of life.

    Jim decided to get some Button Quail eggs and put them in an incubator.  Out of our first batch 3 weeks ago, only two out of 5 that hatched survived.  But those two are such sweeties and I get joy out of seeing them every day.  Meet Brownie and Buttercup:

    Hatchlings-Page-Mar-2007-we

    They're much bigger now: almost full grown but only about 4 inches tall!  I will get some new pictures of them soon.  Buttercup is white now.

    That's about all from the land of Lisa.  I have other pics to share of Jake and Chase and Easter pics but I'll end this for now.

    Blessings to all of you.

    Lisa

Comments (4)

  • I am so glad to see an update from you. You just keep kickin' that cancer's ass. It is to be expected to have ups and downs, no matter how feisty you are, I think.

    How cute are button quails?? What are you going to do with them, just let them run about as pets?

  • Nice to hear from you! I was wondering what is going on with some long time friends here on Xanga. I don't get around here much!

    Cute pictures of the little buttons.

    Take care and keep strong,

    Karolyn

  • Those are really good words: "I'm okay." Thanks for checking in, and especially with such great news! Here's hoping those last treatments are a downhill slide!

  • Catchin' my breath and catchin' up (thanks for keeping me in your loop with personal notes and comments ) 

    Yea, cancer sucks... coumadin sucks... kidney failure sucks.... getting older and falling apart sucks.  The fallenness of sin has really put a damper on things for those of us born in flesh.  Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift and promise of rejuvenation, redemption (and even forgiveness) in Christ!

    I don't know if you'd think I am as irreverent at you, but that tends to be my response to many situations too... I think of that line from the old movie... I think it was FM: "I'm sick and tired and not gonna take it anymore!"  Just because you have challenges doesn't mean you have to lay down and die, does it?  Gosh, I miss you! (((HUGS!)))

    And dem birdies up dere... don't they just rock?  I love birds... I am thankful the seasons have brought them back in my life, heh (I saw the first hummer of the season yesterday.)  Anyway, I look forward to hearing more about them.

    Oh, and while I am composing a regular epistle here, I have to tell you more about Lyss!  This morning, she is off to a TV set because they are shooting and playing for some show on television, LOL!  This coming weekend, Jeanette's crew will be playing in Lincoln Hall in Chattanooga TN (that is where Alison recorded her first live project.)  Gosh, I really wanna blow everything off my calendar and go! (I could SO live in Chattanooga... ever been there?  Gorgeous place!)  Oh, and Jerry Douglas rocks!  And Sam Bush... all those mega-talents... I am SO thankful for this opportunity for her.... if nothing else, she'll have the coolest stories to tell her grands someday!   Love you LOTS!

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